Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Love & Marriage - Week 3 Keeping Things Interesting

Today is week 3 of the Love & Marriage Series.  You can read about week 2 and week 1 here. This week is about keeping things interesting.  I found that as I was reading everyone else's post this morning that they all had the same common theme..."how to keep marriage interesting after having a baby."  I am so glad I am not the only one that struggles with this.  It seems that ALL new moms do as well. 

When Andrew and I first got married, we were so good about keeping things interesting.  Despite both of our gruesome work schedules, we always found time to spend with each other.  Over time, we started exercising together and I even convinced him to train for a marathon with me!  Andrew grew to love my love for travel and we have been all over. Lucky for us, we travel so well together.  The vacations that we have went on are some of my most treasured memories of us.  I am soo glad we made time for this before we had children.

We have always been good about making time for each other and going out on date nights.  In June of last year, we went on our last vacation as a family of two to Hawaii for a babymoon. 

In October, we welcomed our baby girl into this world.  Our priorities changed, and she became the center of our world.  We simply adore her.  She is the light of our life and coming home to her everyday is the best part of our day.  However, I know we need to make our marriage more of a priority. 

Since I have became a mom, I have wanted nothing more than to take care of my baby.  We prayed so long and so hard for her, that I just want to soak up every minute I have with her, I know she will be grown up before I know it.  Unfortunately, since I am a working mom, I find that I value the time I have with her even more.  It is very hard for me to grasp the fact that my only job is not just to raise my child(ren).  Raising my child, loving her more than life itself, kissing her, and cuddling with her is very important, but so is my spouse.  For it is together, that God gave us her.  I must remember, that while I am a mother, I am also a wife. 

I'll be the first to admit that I struggle with leaving my baby.  Those who know me, know the anxiety that leaving her entails.  It's bad, medication worthy, and if I wasn't still feeding her, I'd definately consider it.  While I take full responsibility for this trait, I still blame my job.  Being a pediatrician is an amazing God given gift, but it's not all roses.  I have seen things that most never see, I've seen precious precious lives of children gone within an instant.  I've seen the accidents that people always think will never happen to them, happen to them.  It's made me realize how precious this life is we are given and how quickly it can be taken away.  This realization comes with a lot of anxiety and guilt on my part to be the best working mother that I can be.

While, I don't think it is right, I do think it is completely normal to put your marriage on the backburner when you welcome a new little one into the family.  It seems every blogger in this series has said the exact same thing.  And while I am not one to make excuses, or maybe I am, I know that our living situation right now has played a big part in where we are in our marraige.  I am so blessed to have such an understanding and caring husband who loves our baby just as much as I do and who understands me better than anyone.  I love being married to him and feel that we have a great marriage, but there is always room for improvement and always something that could be better.  I pray and I know that once we are able to get settled into our own home again things will get even better.   

Bottom line:
It's important to make time for each other.  It's important to remember why you got married in the first place.  And that while that new baby is the most wonderful thing in the world, he/she wouldn't be here without the "us." 

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